There was this girl in my neighborhood,she got pregnant for her bf but he didnt want it,she took abortion pills but it didnt seem to work.. The baby was perfectly healthy inside... So on the day of hee delivery we her church members gathered outside the delivery room and started praying for her... It was really quick she had already given birth... We marched in to congratulate her but we observed the doctor and the nurses werent smiling... I looked round the room and observed the baby was laughing.... I shock ,the nurse observed d baby's hand was clenched close ,she struggled and opened the hand,behold all the abortion pills the mother took... Doctor look the mother then back at the baby,he slapped his buttock so he could cry but the baby kept laughing... The thing no funny I shift back,then the baby increased his laughter ,he laugh look all of us for room then he faced his mother and said" no weapon fashioned against me shall prosper"...😂😂 na so all of us scatter leave hospital oo ,as I dey talk I no know how I reach my house o😂😂
I dislocated my knee while trying to steal meat in a soup pot. Told everyone at work I did it bending down to grab something from the freezer because I didn’t want them to think I was a trying to steal meat in a soup pot. People at work are still shocked that I dislocated it so ‘easily’ and keep saying how unlucky I am and bringing the sympathy. Now I just feel like a fraud.
Four people are sitting together in a train, a manager, his assistant, an old woman and her beautiful young daughter. After some time they get to know each other and become temporary friends. The train then goes into a tunnel and there is total darkness. A kissing sound is heard and then followed by a slap. The train goes out of the tunnel and the manager has a slap mark on his face.
The old woman is thinking, 'The manager must have kissed my daughter, its a good thing she slapped him' The daughter is thinking, 'The manager must have wanted to kiss me but unfortunately kissed my mother and got a slap in return.' The manger is thinking 'My assistant must have kissed the girl but she accidentally slap me instead.' The assistant is thinking, 'If we go through another tunnel, I will make another kissing sound and slap my manager!!!'.
When people say that a bad relationship can withhold your blessings, I didn't believe it until I broke up with my girlfriend. That same month I won MVP on 1keachday, my uncle that needed 1 million naira for surgery vomited the cutlass he swallowed and I've stopped paying rent (partly because my landlord cried with me after seeing my account balance 🙄).
There was this girl in my neighborhood,she got pregnant for her bf but he didnt want it,she took abortion pills but it didnt seem to work.. The baby was perfectly healthy inside... So on the day of hee delivery we her church members gathered outside the delivery room and started praying for her... It was really quick she had already given birth... We marched in to congratulate her but we observed the doctor and the nurses werent smiling... I looked round the room and observed the baby was laughing.... I shock ,the nurse observed d baby's hand was clenched close ,she struggled and opened the hand,behold all the abortion pills the mother took... Doctor look the mother then back at the baby,he slapped his buttock so he could cry but the baby kept laughing... The thing no funny I shift back,then the baby increased his laughter ,he laugh look all of us for room then he faced his mother and said" no weapon fashioned against me shall prosper"...😂😂 na so all of us scatter leave hospital oo ,as I dey talk I no know how I reach my house o😂😂
ReplyDeleteI'm Finished
ReplyDeleteThe real meaning of I'm finished is when at night you lock the door to kill a snake and then electricity goes off...
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?
ReplyDeleteIt had great food, but no atmosphere.
.What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.
Do you want to hear a construction joke?
Sorry, I’m still working on it.
I dislocated my knee while trying to steal meat in a soup pot. Told everyone at work I did it bending down to grab something from the freezer because I didn’t want them to think I was a trying to steal meat in a soup pot. People at work are still shocked that I dislocated it so ‘easily’ and keep saying how unlucky I am and bringing the sympathy. Now I just feel like a fraud.
ReplyDeleteFrom Ammar Usman Zakariyya.
Four people are sitting together in a train, a manager, his assistant, an old woman and her beautiful young daughter.
ReplyDeleteAfter some time they get to know each other and become temporary friends. The train then goes into a tunnel and there is total darkness. A kissing sound is heard and then followed by a slap. The train goes out of the tunnel and the manager has a slap mark on his face.
The old woman is thinking, 'The manager must have kissed my daughter, its a good thing she slapped him'
The daughter is thinking, 'The manager must have wanted to kiss me but unfortunately kissed my mother and got a slap in return.'
The manger is thinking 'My assistant must have kissed the girl but she accidentally slap me instead.'
The assistant is thinking, 'If we go through another tunnel, I will make another kissing sound and slap my manager!!!'.
Naija and bad roads... Can you believe I mistakenly bit someone's meat pie inside bus yesterday? Because of gallops. 🙃🙃🙃
ReplyDeleteWhen people say that a bad relationship can withhold your blessings, I didn't believe it until I broke up with my girlfriend. That same month I won MVP on 1keachday, my uncle that needed 1 million naira for surgery vomited the cutlass he swallowed and I've stopped paying rent (partly because my landlord cried with me after seeing my account balance 🙄).
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete40. I can never take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him.
I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.?@Praise Afolayan